Wednesday, August 26, 2009

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

Don't let the rhyming carry you through it too fast, reread it and listen to what it says.

Wow... This song really sums it up. I can not boast in anything but Jesus Christ for I am not deserving of the gains from His reward. Keith and I are humbled more and more everyday as blessings continue to pour out. All that consumes our minds is what we can do to further His kingdom. It is amazing how perspective changes when you are completely open to what God has willed for your life (as He has asked). When you turn to Him for all things, "things" just seem to dissapear. The bigger picture, the heavenly life that awaits, is all that becomes relevant to us.

Years ago my family selfishly fought for separation from God in order to honor our own prideful ways. Each of us, in our own way, chose to live our lives for us, ignoring what God has asked of us and in turn hurting ourselves and each other for what would be years. Through prayer and conviction, I have watched the past 10 years miraculously change each of us, and bring some of the relationships between us even closer than they have ever been. Just that alone can bring me to tears, because I remember after the damage was done (on my part) just feeling hopeless to ever getting back the family closeness that was once there. I knew after my mistake, that I couldn't possibly ever "take back" what I had done. Now, here I sit, the wife and mother in a God filled home. I am the sister to a brother and sister who are living Christ-lead lives in Godly homes with each of their spouses and my nephew. I am inspired by my father and his Godly example and motivated by his desires to change. And I am viciously praying for my mother who has come out of a dark and helpless place into the comfort and peace of Jesus' arms as He continues to bless her life.

I grew up in worship and music, and though it was prevelant in our household, I think that sometimes I got caught up in the rhyming or song, and not the words. Because our outward actions were in the music, but our inward emotions fought the truth and life in the words, I can't help but fight back tears with every song I now sing in worship. When I first started attending Fellowship, I thought it was natural to cry during a song because of the memory it brought back. But after 5 years of attending, and 2 of those years I've attended weekly, I still fight back tears each and every single service during each and every single song, no matter what the song is. I can't help it! Each and every prayer, and each and every story told. I used to think that maybe it was Christ working within me to let go of the past, and that working through that the tears would stop. But they haven't! It sometimes frustrates me to struggle with the emotions when I want so badly to just sing, but I finally realized that it's not old memories, but the new words that bring me to tears. I feel each and every one, and truly mean it, and desire to live it, and feel it, and that is something I never want to ever go away.

My mother and I have cried together during songs when memories have arised from them. I wish more than anything that she could be at church with me each and every Sunday and feel these new tears. They are such happy and humbled tears.

Wow, I didn't expect to unload all that, I simply wanted to touch on what I find myself doing every week, and the tear thing... it is non-stop! Thank you Lord, for making it real to me every week. I realize the importance in a church body, and why it is biblical and imparative to be involved. It is true that there is no such thing as an un-churched Christian in the New Testament. It is something God had intended for us, and commands of us, and wants for us. Acts 2:47 tells how "the Lord added to their number(the church) day by day those who were being saved", meaning He lead those who were saved to the church. I pray that He will continue to work in the lives of those saved, and lead them to a community of faith where they can come together in fellowship and be equipped to give their lives away. Keith and I are so blessed that we have been lead to that place that is right for us, and we continue to be excited to go and learn and be equipped. That passage (Acts 2:42-47) really breaks down how we are to live and worship, and what it looks like when we do. Grow. Connect. Serve. Give. We continue to strive for this and glorify God with each step! :)

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